Who are you to play small, dear one?
Your self-doubt is self-indulgent.
Hello, my darling.
You can’t hide from me any longer.
I see you over there in your complacency, your avoidance, your visions of grandeur and worries of failure. Hiding behind your savior complex, your broken relationships, your dirty laundry and your unmet needs.
You can’t hide in your fantasy world forever, you know. Unless, that is, you are enjoying your suffering. And if so, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Your hide-and-seek game of too-good-for-them-but-not-good-enough-for-those-others isn’t really serving you all that well, is it?
I will come find you and coax you out of the wreckage for just long enough so you can take a breath of fresh air and taste what it means to be alive as a human being and reorient yourself to what is true and everlasting.
And then it will be up to you to remember your sovereignty, your freedom, your connection to the Presence that abides. To all that is. To Divine Grace.
It will be up to you to nurture the relationship with your Self and show It some goddamned respect like the sparkling gem of a jewel discovered in the depths of the wound that it is.
Will you accept the helping hand or will you fall back into your misery, your internal pharmacy of narcotics that will numb away the deepest of the depths of pain while you sit and steep in your own mental anguish?
You know what’s going on here. You just don’t want to admit it.
Your self-doubt is indulgent.
Your people-pleasing is manipulative and selfish.
Your self-loathing and other-shaming and world-hating are futile attempts to control that which you can never control.
When all you have to do is allow the fire of the pain to burn away what is not real and what is not true so that your very own Divine Will can show Itself to you.
We suffer to get well. We surrender to win. We die to live. We give it away to keep it. This counterintuitive wisdom will forever be resisted, denied, and avoided, until it’s forced upon us by some reality over which we are powerless—and, if we’re honest, we are all powerless in the presence of full Reality.
Richard Rohr
Will you receive it? Will you answer the call? Will you surrender your control?
Will you stand in the center of your own hellfire and give your whole heart to it?
This kind of heat and pressure makes diamonds, babe.
May you rise from the ashes wholly transformed.
May you discover the gems hidden within.
All the Love,
Rebecca
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.
Albert Einstein
If this letter brought you something of value, my hope is that you would consider responding in a way that is aligned with the value you received.
You may subscribe to get my letters in your inbox, purchase a paid subscription, share this letter with someone who might appreciate it, leave a heart ❤ and/or drop me a line in the comments or via direct message.
Thank you for your generosity 🙏🏼
Powerful writing, Rebecca. I love so much your courage to give voice to the place in which you stand, no matter how fierce, frustrated, forgiving, or forgetful it may be.
The visceral image that comes to me as I read this one of an irrepressible presence pushing up and through a thicket of questions, judgements, and aspirations.
What is that power in us that rises at its own behest, like King Kong, shrugging off everything we have tried to lash it down with in our efforts to hold it back?
Thanks Rebecca. True, True and More True! 💕