God doesn't have a hole to fill
a painting and a poem
Dear one,
I painted some blueberries.
And then yesterday I wrote a poem after another battle with compulsive eating.
Do you try to eat your emotions, too?
I can’t find the self that made the chocolate torte.
Where is my recipe book?
She threw it out in a righteous rage
of fuck-me’s, fuck-you’s and I-don’t-fucking-care’s
to start again for the hundredth time.
She purged all that was not needed
but then
years later
she looked and looked for that recipe book.
She wanted a chocolate torte!
She could smell it baking.
She could taste it in her mouth
the rich, gooey sweet bitterness.
But she couldn't find it.
And I couldn't find her.
"Why are you doing what you're doing?", I asked.
Her desire was empty.
It was not God-filled. It was not God-willed.
God doesn't have a hole to fill
with a chocolate torte.🫐🍩🫐
All the Love,
Rebecca
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Albert Einstein
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Thank you Rebecca. It think you are absolutely right that..."God doesn't have a hole to fill
with a chocolate torte." ....but chocolate torte!!!! oh my!!!! I know I have, more times than I want to admit, tried to eat my way out of a hole. In easier times though I have felt like that chocolate torte on my spoon was a prayer, a wonder, a gift, a treasure given my by God. Beautifully written Rebecca. Bless you mate.🙏🏼
I love this!! Totally relate to that fraught food funk that comes over us. So much there and not there. And the artwork, Rebecca, is startling. Those berries are so perky and bursting with colour and goodness, I want to pick them right off my screen! 🤩❤️